Woke Jihadists busy at work
Disclaimer: Geopolitics is a complex subject. The reader is warned that experts are often wrong.
Ah, Singaporeans. Our leaders often boast of our world class education. The result is a netizenship that never runs out of opinions on COE, the budget and suddenly, armchair experts on the Strait of Hormuz the moment diesel hits S$3.63 a litre.
Welcome to March 2026, where the ongoing US-Israel-Iran conflict (yes, it’s escalated into full-blown regional fireworks since late February) is doing what it does best: making everything more expensive while our group chats turn into battlefields for military experts and Woke Jihadists frying the evil US with memes and AI.
Let’s keep this light-hearted because, honestly, the situation is heavy enough without us adding drama. Picture this: missiles flying, leaders getting “eliminated” like it’s a high-stakes game of Among Us, and somewhere in a HDB heartland, some Woke Jihadist Auntie is forwarding a video claiming Netanyahu is dead (again). Spoiler: He’s not.
Israeli officials have called it fake news, he’s been posting proof-of-life clips (complete with coffee runs and cheeky jabs at the rumours), and Iranian state media has been pushing the narrative harder than a Grab driver during surge pricing. Yet, parts of our local social media are desperately clinging to it like it’s the next hot stock tip. How much money do you want to bet? Sadly, most of the Woke Jihadists can’t put their money where their mouths are.
The Ripple Effect We Can All Feel in Our Wallets
Ideology aside, what really concerns us in tiny red-dot land? Energy prices. The conflict has disrupted oil flows through the Strait of Hormuz (that narrow little choke point responsible for a huge chunk of the world’s crude). Result: global oil spiking, Singapore pump prices climbing fast. Petrol grades pushing past S$3, diesel flirting with records, and fears of S$4 looming if things drag on. Brace yourself as electricity bills might tag along too, thanks to higher LNG costs. It’s not just our pockets. Our holiday plans get cancelled. Residents in Dubai or Abu Dhabi have been evacuated by the RSAF.
Who do we blame? The evil Americans – say the Woke Jihadists. In the wake of air strikes by the US and the IDF, have been “standing with Iran”, cheering for them and goading them to close the Straits of Hormuz and punish the evil Americans. The result? Many of us who’ve never set foot in the region are now paying premium for our morning drives. Isn’t that what the Woke Jihadists have asked for? Are they going to challenge evil America and see who gets strangulated first?
The war wages on. Strikes, counter strikes, difficult to intercept cluster munitions over Tel Aviv and targeted assassination hits on Iranian officials. Recent reports confirm high-profile Iranian figures like Ali Larijani (security council head) and others taken out in precision operations—leaders “eliminated one by one”.
Even as the regime scrambles, the Woke Jihadists are still hopeful that their side will win. They have been busy sharing memes, AI and other “brilliant pieces” by pro-Iran influencers. As if cheered on by their fans, Iranian counter-strikes continue. Gulf states have been struggling to intercept drones and missiles. All America’s fault? The whole thing feels like a never-ending season of a very expensive, very dangerous reality show. The more prudent among us know which side will win, but the “hopeful” Woke Jihadists are constantly picking on Trump’s sloppy and impetuous speeches as indicators of how clueless and reckless the former reality TV star is. Yao mo gao chor ah? You guys don’t know how Trump talks?
Standing With… Whom, Exactly?
Here’s the part that makes me chuckle (in a slightly concerned, uncle-at-kopitiam way). A vocal slice of Singaporeans are loudly “standing with Iran” on social media, sharing propaganda clips and cheering every rumour that paints Israel/Netanyahu as the ultimate villain. Fair enough to have opinions—free speech and all—but many seem blissfully unaware of who they’re actually backing. These are not crazy or evil folks. They’re just woke and naively ignorant.
Let’s face it. Fans of the Iranian regime are not fans of chill vibes or human rights parades – even though they may like their tube dresses, shorts and flowing hair. Woke Jihadists are more likely to be self-righteous and civic-minded youngsters who thinking they’re standing with a benevolent victim against a ruthless bully, not realising that the regime spent decades and a billion annually funding terror proxies like Hamas and Hezbollah, torturing dissidents and chanting various apocalyptic outcomes for its enemies. You, yes you could end up as a victim of suicide bombing sponsored by them.
Yet, here we are: some folks treating it like a football match where one side wears white and the other wears black, conveniently ignoring the darkness within heavily censored Iran, the wishes of the oppressed Iranian people, the threat of terrorism, the complexities of the multipolar world and Trump’s idiosyncrasies.
It’s classic WhatsApp University syndrome. One viral video (often AI-tinged or selectively edited), a few fiery captions, and suddenly you’re an expert geopolitician between bubble tea runs. Hunkle’s advice: Before hitting “share” on that next “Netanyahu confirmed dead” post, maybe double-check with actual news sources instead of relying on the echo chamber. The regime’s propaganda machine is working overtime, and it turns out many of us are surprisingly or perhaps not surprisingly receptive. I know it’s useless. The minds of the Woke Jihadists are not very different from that of the actual jihadists even though the former has no clue about what’s on the latter’s mind. Torn between spreading news of victory and highlighting Iranian casualties, these wokies are really quite pathetic. By the way, Israel has never lost a war since independence.
A Gentle Reality Check with a Side of Kopi
Look, war is tragic—no one wins when missiles are flying and economies wobble. Civilians suffer, families grieve, and global ripples hit everyday people hardest (higher taxi fares and potential inflation on labubus from China). Singapore’s strength has always been clear-eyed pragmatism: we focus on stability, energy security, and not on getting sucked into distant conflicts emotionally.
So next time you’re queuing at the petrol kiosk grumbling about prices, or scrolling past another “I stand with [side]” post, take a breath. The Middle East conflict is messy, brutal and far from a simple morality tale. Iranian leaders are indeed falling one after another in targeted strikes, propaganda is flooding feeds, and Netanyahu is very much alive and meme-ing through it.
In the meantime, stay safe, get a better, deeper understanding of who you support and remember: in Singapore, the real existential threat is probably just running out of sambal in our nasi lemak. Donald Trump is acting in America’s interests and I hope he finishes soon. Stay informed, stay kind. Crude oil will never shoot above $200 as warned by the red propagandists. Unsubscribe to their channels and wait for good news.