Thai black magic, really?
A Singaporean woman turned to Reddit for advice after her fiancé of 10 years suddenly ended their relationship and allegedly moved to Thailand with another woman. Surprising? Let’s dive into the details. According to her posting on Reddit, it was only February this year, Valentine’s Day to be exact, in Venice, Italy that he proposed to her. So romantic. The couple had even secured a Build-to-Order (BTO) flat and made the down payment.
Then, something happened on their anniversary, 31Oct.
“We went out for a nice dinner date at our favourite place and he just seemed not himself and quiet,” she recalled. “It felt like he was not interested and seeing all the happy couples around us made me so upset. One thing led to another, and we ended up arguing, which I thought was fine because we are the kind of couple that argues all the time but always makes up. But suddenly, he just got up and left, leaving me at the restaurant all alone.”
After that night, she kept trying to contact him but failed to reach him. Even his family members were not responding. About a week later, people close to him told her to “forget about him and move on.”
“At this point, I was crying almost every minute and stayed in my bed for days, unable to do anything else,” she wrote. “Nobody could or wanted to help me. He just left without any explanation.”
Desperate to find out what had happened, she began searching for any trace of him online. Eventually, she stumbled upon one of his friends’ Instagram accounts and discovered that he was at Siam Diu, a Thai-themed nightclub, singing with another woman in his arms. Really? A Sim Diu is not a karaoke lounge. It’s a Cantonese term Sim means Thai and diu means to hang. You pay for token garlands or sashes at these places and hang them around the singers or hostesses you support.
Anyway, our desperate lady tried to get some answers from his family but claimed that his brothers scolded her and told her to stop bothering them. Only his mother was kind enough to tell her gently to let go as her son as she will not get him back.
She went deep with her investigations. She found out that her rival was is in her 30s, married, but trying to get a divorce. The guy was assisting her by hiring a lawyer and they recently got matching tattoos with crowns and the words ‘my king’ for her and ‘my queen’ for him.
Based on all that, she believed that her guy is a victim of black magic or gong tau. She said “Please help me. I need to get my fiancé back. Anyone experienced with love rituals and potions? Are they effective?”
Isn’t that interesting? An educated, gainfully employed woman from first world Singapore in the 21st century is beaten by a poor rural Thai woman who had to work in a Siam diu because she is up against Thai “black magic” sai ya saat.
Under normal circumstances, only the Hokkien peng from my generation would believe in black magic even though they don’t really know what it is. Thais from my generation are afraid to hang their clothes out to dry at night for fear that they may get possessed by spirits. Many of the younger, better educated ones are already weaned from such superstition.
Why do so many Singaporeans still fall under their spells? Well. that’s because unlike the ang mohs or Farang who are not averse to self deprecation, we are less forgiving and value “face” a lot more than Westerners. Financially gouged Asian men are therefore reluctant to admit that they’ve been stupid and gullible. They blame it on black magic instead.
It should be noted that the “victim” in this story has only told us her side of the story. Why is his family so hostile towards her? Why is it that her future mother in law wouldn’t even try to talk her son out of it? Wouldn’t she prefer her as her daughter-in-law over a foreign woman speaking a foreign language that her son met at a Siam diu? I believe there is more to it than meets the eye.
Do I believe in black magic? Yes and no. Sad to say, there aren’t any potions and love rituals that will help our poor Singapore lady complete her BTO purchase. She has been defeated. He may regret it later, but I guess it’s over. But why was she defeated by a foreigner who speaks a different language? Because there is another language being spoken here. There is something charming or even enchanting about the general Thai persona. They often come across as very humble, friendly, helpful and generous people, even when they are girls working in a Siam Diu. A Thai textbook I once read defined a good kid or a dek dee as someone with the qualities of gan poot soo parp and taeng dua riap roy. The first quality means to speak elegantly and second one means to dress neatly. On top of that, are the Thai virtues of jai yen which means patience or calmness and kreng jai which means acting with restraint towards a superior. When you’re a guest in a Thai home and they tell you mai tong kreng jai, it means to make yourself feel at home. All these are excellent qualities in a superficial encounter but note that there is no mention of honesty and responsibility. A sense of humour is also greatly appreciated in Thai social functions. Serious topics are not welcome. A lot of what goes on in informal conversation is actually poot len which literally means play talk.
Couple all these attractive personality traits with good looks, great food, beautiful temples, beaches, mountains and the sheltered guys from no nonsense and calculative Singapore are mesmerised. If that’s how you define “black magic”, then yes, I believe that this exotic blend can cause some guys to do the unthinkable. To be fair, the majority of Thai women looking for foreign boyfriends are not all out to bring the guys to the cleaners. Neither do they consider it very tragic for families to break up. It happens pretty often in Thailand and nobody is too concerned about it. However, they do have this perception that foreigners have deep pockets and their money is easily earned. Who else would visit a Siam Diu and throw money like the patrons do? The average Thai certainly wouldn’t do that. Who would travel to Thailand so often and go cheap cheap cheap over everything? The average Thai would go paeng paeng paeng instead.
Finally, I hope Miss Singapore snaps out of the spell she had cast on herself. He could have been mesmerised. He could be just entertaining himself. For more insights from a son-in-law of Thailand, go check out my book Spellbound in Chiangmai. Most of the stories here are written from a male perspective. It’ll be interesting if I could do a sequel with more stories from the female perspective.